Autism Self-Care in Challenging Times
Whether you have Autism, have a friend or family member with Autism, or are feeling stuck with the current misinformation surrounding Autism, this is a space for self-care, self-compassion, and self-acceptance. We are currently experiencing scary, overwhelming, and frustrating media representation of what Autism is and what causes it. The increase in the 24/7 news stream that continues to provide medical advice that isn’t coming from medical doctors can lead to us feeling misunderstood or fearful that we are doing the wrong things for our mind and bodies. We wanted to create a small guide for self-compassion and acceptance to help you validate your experiences and identify areas you have control of.
Validating your experiences, emotions and needs
Here are some strategies for validating your experiences, emotions, and needs during these challenging times.
Acknowledge your emotions when they are present and use words that feel validating to you.
“It makes sense why this makes me so angry.”
“I feel hurt by….” “I am allowed to feel sad.”
“I am allowed to ask questions.”
Set a 5-20 minute timer to allow yourself to feel or create with your emotions and experiences before we jump into a distraction skill.
Make a list of what you currently are feeling
Make art surrounding how you are feeling
Make a poem or journal entry about your feelings
Identify what distress tolerance skills are most effective for you.
Sensory skills: Stimming, weighted blankets, shower, asking for deep pressure from loved ones, or noise cancelling headphones
Grounding skills: Slowly eating a popsicle, taking shoes off in the grass/go outside, holding ice, or tightening and relaxing your muscles
Distraction skills: exploring a special interest, watching a video/show/movie, dancing/listening to music, video games, or activities that encourage nostalgia
Finding community that feels safe, supportive or comforting
As Autistic people, we can often feel isolated from others. Right now, the current political climate makes this isolation even more intense. Finding a community to be a part of can be very comforting and supportive to your day to day mental health. Oftentimes when I bring up community in a session, clients may think this means joining a club or an organization. Community can be a lot more simple. I like to think about community spaces that you have control over how long you stay or how much you participate. Some examples of community that can be helpful are:
Local Libraries: You get to see familiar faces and can talk with others if you want to. If not, you get to be surrounded by creative maker spaces, books, and games that you can utilize and ‘parallel play’ with others. Librarians also can be a huge resource of community because they know so much about what’s happening around us. Libraries often also have virtual events you can attend.
Finding a local store where you enjoy browsing: Book stores, toy stores, thrift stores, coffee shops are all places that you can be a ‘regular’ and have a sense of community. (Something to note: This option does have privilege surrounding physical ability and monetary ability.)
Online Communities: Finding a space that feels safe and supportive online can also be a huge sense of community. This could be reading a forum for your special interest or joining an online social group (Patreon, Dungeons and Dragons, a video game community.) This option is often free or low cost and doesn’t require transportation.
Other community spaces: Most towns have Parks and Rec classes and activities in a variety of areas, volunteering somewhere you are passionate about, community events like fairs and farmers markets
Assessing your energy, ability, or “spoons” each day
We all have days that we may consider ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ These words can sometimes put us in a box where we aren’t able to actually assess how we are doing or what we need. When we assess our energy for the day, we give ourselves the opportunity to use ‘can’ language instead of ‘can’t’ language. Asking ourselves questions like:
“How many spoons do I have today?”
“Is today a low energy or high energy day?”
“With the energy I have, can I do all of XYZ or only some of XYZ?”
Sometimes with Autism, we force ourselves to be completionists. If we start something, we have to finish it or want the immediacy of it being done. When we consider what we can do, we give ourselves permission to only write half the email, do one math problem, or just brush our teeth today. Listening to our energy needs can be very supportive of some of the self-compassion and self-acceptance strategies we discussed above.
Making a plan for emotion regulation and distress tolerance that requires low effort
Having emotion regulation and distress tolerance skills that are easy to implement are key when we have low energy and low mood. This is something you can explore with your therapist or on your own through past experiences. When we think of low effort coping, we have to get creative! Personally, if I put Fergalicious by Fergie on, because I know it can decrease my distress rather quickly. I find it very hard to feel overwhelmed or angry while listening to the beat of the song and Fergie loving herself so much. While this is a silly example, an effective skill can be that simple and silly. It just has to be effective for YOU!
Thoughts on the rise of Autism frequency
The current political climate keeps highlighting the rise in Autism frequency. We want to highlight that one of the reasons we are seeing an increase is due to the access to care and validation of all people’s experiences. Historically, Autism has been under-diagnosed in AFAB (assigned female at birth) and BIPOC people. We are now seeing an increase in folx being validated for their experiences and learning more about how we can best serve the BIPOC and AFAB autistic communities. If you are looking to get connected with a therapist specialized in this area, take a look at our team.
Suicide and Crisis Resources
If you are reading this and are thinking of ending your life, please call 988, go to your local emergency department or dial 911. If you are in crisis and need support, please reach out to one of the following national resources:
988 Lifeline: Available via phone ‘988’, text, and chat
741-741 Crisis Textline: Available via text or chat
The Trevor Project: Available via phone ‘1-866-488-7386’, text or chat
lgbt National Help Center: Available via phone ‘800-246-7743’, text or chat
